I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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