Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
