Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
