my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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