In the future we'll all be gay
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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