and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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