porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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