no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize