Your tits are I can't wait for
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
