You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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