you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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