All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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