Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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