i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
