I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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