He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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