can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i was born a porn star she said
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
