What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
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I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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