just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
