How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We left the knife in your bed.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
