Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
