I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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