So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
