after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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