Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
