At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
