Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
