You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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