We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
