haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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