dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
