How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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