Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
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So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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