you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize