If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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