he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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