she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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