using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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