The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
so much tequila, so little girl.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
