remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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