Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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