I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize