hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
