I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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