i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My dick has a subreddit
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
