But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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