Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
