Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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