The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
the night ended with taco bell and tears
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um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
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Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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