what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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