no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
