I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
