am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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