she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Randomize
