I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
