We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
