he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
