My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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