i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
