Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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