Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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